BE A GOOD SON, AND GOOD FATHER.

BE A GOOD SON, AND GOOD FATHER.

You will be surprised by this sutra, but it is of immense value:

BE A GOOD SON... What does it mean to be a good son?
Does it mean to be a slave, utterly obedient?

If you are a slave, you are not a good son. If you are utterly obedient, you are a hypocrite.

Then what does it mean to be a good son?

If you ask people they will say, ”A good son means: do whatsoever your father says.”

It is not that simple – because you can do it from the outside and you can resist it from the inside.

That’s what children have to do! They are helpless. Whatsoever the parents say, they HAVE to do it, willingly,unwillingly, reluctantly – they have to do it.

That creates a split in them.
They become two.
They start becoming false, phony.

So one way that is ordinarily thought: just be obedient to the father and you are a good son.

That is not the meaning of Pythagoras.
Then does he mean rebel against the father?

Go against him?

Do just the opposite of whatsoever he says? Be a hippie or yippie or something? If he says have short hair then have long hair? If he says, ”Take a bath every day,” then forget all about taking a bath for years?
If he says, ”Cleanliness is next to God,” then be dirty and claim that dirtiness is next to God?

No, that is not the meaning of being a good son either.

In fact, the second thing has happened in the world because the first has persisted too long. Too much enforced obedience has created a reaction.

Then who is a good son?
A good son is one who is alert, understanding, respectful; who listens to the father because the father knows much – he has lived, he has experienced life, he has more experience.

He listens to the father. He tries to understand the father. He is open. He is not in a hurry either to obey or to disobey.

A good son is one who is ready to listen, to understand, to learn.
And then if you feel that you agree with the father, do it.
If you feel you don’t agree with the father, then say it. There is no question of reaction.

Just make it plain that you don’t agree. You will do it, but it will be done with forced effort.It will make you phony.

If the father wants, you will do it, but it will make you phony, it will make you split, schizophrenic. It will divide you.

A good communion is needed between the father and the son, because the father represents the past and the son represents the future.

A bridge is needed.

And it cannot be one-sided, so it is not only for the son to be a good son: the final thing is to be a good father too.

He is creating a family atmosphere in which meditation can grow easily.

A good son is one who is alert, ready to obey the father when he feels he is right, ready to say to the father, ”I am not willing to do it – it will be false, it will be phony.” And ready to go with the father.

if he cannot decide on his own, because there may be things which you cannot feel either right or wrong. Then follow the father; he knows better.And the father simply represents the past.

The father simply represents ALL father-figures, all those who are older than you. The father is simply a symbol of all those who have lived more than you,experienced more than you – the teachers, the elders.

A great respect is needed – respect for their life, respect for their experience.There is no need to become a slave, and there is no need to react against them.

Understanding is needed – neither obedience nor reaction. And if obedience comes OUT of understanding, it isbeautiful.

And if sometimes rebellion comes OUT of understanding, it is beautiful.

But it HAS to come out of understanding, NOT out of reaction.

There are people who will not do a certain thing because their father says to do it. How can they do it? Just because the father is saying it, they CANNOT do it – they will do the opposite.

Their egos are in conflict.
And there are people who know that it is wrong, but they will do it because the father says to do it. Both are wrong.

The good son is one who listens to the father, to ALL father-figures, tries to understand with great respect, with openness, with no conclusions.

And then whatever decision arises in his being, tofollow or not to follow, he goes with it. It is neither reaction nor obedience: it is simply acting out of understanding

... AND GOOD FATHER. And in your own turn, the circle is complete – be a good father.

What does it mean to be a good father?

Don’t enforce anything on your child. Give your love, give your understanding, but always make it clear that the choice is the child’s.

If he wants to follow it he can follow, but he is following HIS choice.
If he wants not to follow, he is free not to follow – again he is following his choice.

Make everything clear to the child. You LOVE him, so give your experience to him but don’t enforce it, don’t command.

Let him understand. Let understanding be the only law,and let him follow his understanding.

Now you can understand: the father has to be just a helper. The father has not to mould the child in a certain pattern that he wants; he has not to use the child for his own ambitions.

He has to love the child, make him strong, make him more alert, so that he can search out his own ways in life.

Make him more and more independent.

The good father does not cripple the child, does not force the child to depend on him. And if there is a good father, naturally the son will be good, because he will not be forced into any slavery and he will not have to react either.

And if you have been a good son, in your own turn one day you will become a father and you will be a good father.

This is the family atmosphere, the space in which we live.

This space has to be of intimacy, of love,of grace.

OshO 💕
CHAPTER 1. THE GREATEST LUXURY
Philosophia Perennis, Vol 1